I couldn’t help but use a line from my favourite sci-fi
series in order to describe the crazy journey that will come to an end tomorrow.
It truly has been a rollercoaster of
emotions like all university experiences are. I would not have changed my time
here at university for the world. I believe that it has made me the person I am
today and without the experiences I’ve had here there is no way on this earth
that I would be as strong as I am now.
That doesn’t mean that it has been easy. Anything but. I
don’t think I really anticipated how hard it would be to move to a different
country when I was barely 18 from sorting out my utilities to cooking for
myself everyday it made me grow up so much quicker than I had ever expected. I’ve
found out how resilient I can be in the face of adversity throughout my time at
university but I would say this has particularly been proved during this last
year. Following the horrendous events of November last year I was in a slump
that has been difficult to get myself out of until very recently. At that
moment and during some of the darkest times I wanted university to just be over
with already. However I’m glad that I have got through what has been a really
testing term for me. Mental health is a topic the media is always telling us we
need to pay more attention to and it wasn’t until it affected me directly that
I understood why. By opening up with what I was going through (and still am to
a certain extent) I was able to help myself as well as them. In brief I would
say that one of the biggest things my time at university has taught me is to be
honest with people about what is going on in your head. I am all too ready to
bury my head in the sand and but a brave face on but realistically this doesn’t
help anyone.
I’m apprehensive about going out into the big wide world
just as I was when I finished secondary school but this time it feels a lot
more uncertain. The 9-5 is such an exciting prospect to me but im pretty sure
that there isn’t a student graduating right now who isn’t slightly afraid of
not having the safety net of formal education to help them when things go
wrong. No longer will we have student loans to pay the bills or the lovely
people in Student Services to dictate our timetables to us. My degree has
taught me so many more things than how to write a good essay about Bonapartism
and I am looking forward to doing it all on my own so I can prove to myself
that I can. It’s just that I have a heavy heart about leaving an institution
that has given me so much support and so many life skills that I could never
have learnt anywhere else.
This blog won’t stop by any stretch of the imagination. It
started as a vanity project and so I could keep in contact with friends and
family by letting them know about all of the funny things that were happening
in my life. Now it has turned more into a bit of therapy. In fact this post
might read like I am pouring my heart out to a counsellor and for that I
apologise. I feel it is important though at this point in my Parisian journey
to look back and reflect on all of the ups and downs and where I am today. Despite
not quite being the fully fledged adult I thought I would be at this stage I do
believe that I have grown enormously since that first day of Freshers week
where I skipped my way into uni excited to meet my new friends.
I would finally like to say thank you to all of you who have
been reading my blog. It really does mean a lot to me when I get the feedback
from you all. As someone who suffers from social anxiety I feel like this is a
platform that I can use to fully express myself when I struggle to do so in
social situations. Seeing the page view counter increasing following a new post
I get a sudden rush of excitement that people actually want to read what I have
written – something I never imagined would happen.
Before I get too emotional myself I will wrap it up quickly
and just reiterate my thanks to all of you who have participated in my
university career, whether friends, family or blog readers. I shall continue to grow in myself and more
importantly continue writing! And like the dolphins in The Hitchhikers Guide To
The Galaxy I shall no proceed to flick-flack away across the sea to the next
part of the adventure we call life.
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