Monday, 30 January 2017

Into The Abyss

Oh dear, I'm trying to be funny and avant-garde again. Please don't hate me. I implore you. I saw this idea on Vogue where they videoed various models going through their handbags and discussing what they had to say about them. I liked this kind of materialistic psychoanalysis so I thought I might try it for myself. 

First I have to decide which bag I'm going to analyze. I sporadically change between three or four different bags depending on the season, my mood and whatever is closest to hand. One rucksack purchased from Decathlon for the grand total of 4€, a Mowgli book bag, my prized possession my beautiful Longchamp bag and finally the one I'm using day-to-day currently a handbag I bought from Monoprix in a vain attempt to look more Parisian. The usually all contain the same kind of thing so let's start with the nitty gritty. 

A book - It has usually either been started or it has been put in there as a prompt to remember to read on the metro instead of just staring into space or playing on my phone. I'm always reassured by the number of people who read on their commutes in Paris and it makes me feel part of the club if I'm sat with my nose in a good P.G.Wodehouse among fellow bookworms while on the way to work. 

Chocolate - For those low moments when the crowds have got too much or the day too long and you just need a little pick me up. To stop me from constantly snacking though it is usually dark chocolate or something not too sweet. Sometimes if I have recently been to the UK then this can be substituted for Werthers Originals because they are the ultimate pick me up. 

Tissues - The pollution in Paris means that I am nearly constantly sniffly with a cold or cough so it is essential to have some on hand. This is also a hangover from my babysitting days which comes in handy when flying. You never know where the motion sick toddler is going to be and if they will puke on you. Like I say, best to be prepared just in case. 

Dior Perfume and a lipstick or three - If you're having a really crappy day is anything much better than a quick spritz of perfume and some lippy to brighten up your day? Well I certainly don't think so! It's a trick that has been passed down through generations of my family because it represents our armour and with that we can take on the world. 

Betablockers - I was very wary about going on medication to help deal with my anxiety mostly because I didn't want to acknowledge what was really happening with my mental health. The betablockers are designed to reduce my blood pressure so that when I feel a panic attack coming on I can take one to counter-attack the physical effects. I try to be as open as possible about what I take and why so that the people around me understand what is going on! 

Moleskine diary - Those who know me well, know that I am not the most organised person in the world. In an attempt to not forget anything I have to do I made the decision to sort my life out and put everything into my diary. From plans for the weekend to an idea for dinner tonight, it all goes in the diary. I'm also keeping a track of every book I read this year in the notes section because my aim is to read at least 40 books this year. 3 books down we shall see how I get on!

All of these items are usually accompanied by receipts that have been flung in the depths of my bag when I've been trying to pack all of my shopping into a space too small for the items I've purchased before the person behind me starts having their items scanned. Currently there is a tupperware full of Yorkshire Tea because the French simply don't understand a good brew even if it were to come up and hit them in the face. Hence the need to carry a personal supply with me wherever I go. It's hard to say what exactly all of this says about me but I would hazard a guess that is is quite obvious when you look in my bag that I am a dysfunctional, disorganised wannabe writer who feels faint for often than she would like to! 

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